Thursday, October 3, 2013

comfort.

If I'm being honest, I'm not that comfortable here at Crooked Creek. Yes, I am surrounded by amazing people. Yes, I find joy in simple things. Yes, I am so happy I live in this place. But I don't feel a lot of comfort.

Up until my time here I was very comfortable in life. I lived in a place I grew to know and love. I was surrounded by friends who became family, knowing me inside and out, yet still loving me. I was doing what I did for the past 15 plus years of my life. And though life got really hard at times, I still felt a sense of comfort. 

Coming to Crooked Creek has brought about a different story, however. The first few weeks I really felt out of my shell. I rarely knew my surroundings, I just met my fellow interns, and had never worked at this camp before. There was no comfort, but I had hope it would come with time. Well... time has come and I still don't feel comfort. About a week ago I became really frustrated with the whole situation, and I started searching for a little glimpse as to where that comfort might have gone. 

And this is what I realized. I had comfort in Kenosha because of all those things... 

 The people that surrounded me brought me comfort. They knew exactly what to say. They knew what I struggle with. They knew how to encourage me. They knew when I just needed to get ice cream and do some retail therapy at Target. They knew when I needed to be called out. They knew about the past. They knew about my fears, hopes, dreams. They just knew.
   And the places brought me comfort. Carthage became a security. Kenosha was familiar. Common Grounds was a place of solitude. Lake Michigan reminded me of the Lord's beauty and sovereignty. My room was a place of rest. Wisconsin was home.
   And school was a comfort. I could do that well. I knew how to study. I knew how to write a paper. I knew how to teach a lesson. I knew how to be a college student. 

All those people, places and things brought me comfort. And then suddenly they were ripped from me. I thought I was prepared for that but I was not. My comfort is lost because these people, places and things have been removed.

Praise be to the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, the Father of compassion and the God of all comfort, who comforts us in our troubles, so that we can comfort those in any trouble with the comfort we ourselves receive from God.                                                          {2 corinthians 1:3-4}

I read this a few days ago in the midst of my frustration, and felt both conviction and relief. My comfort should not come simply from the people, places, and things that surround me. My comfort should come from the God of all comfort. God may use people to comfort us, but he is the ultimate source. When that is so, comfort is not lost when people are at a distance because God comforts his children in their troubles.

And so I am starting to search for comfort not in the people, places and things here, but in my God. The God of all comfort. Because one day I will leave these people, places and things as well, and I want to be certain my comfort will follow. 
May your unfailing love be my comfort, according to your promise to your servant.      {psalm 119:76}

1 comment:

  1. This post moved me tonight. Anywhere you go and anyone you meet, you always leave a positive impact. Comfort will come in time but the difference you are making now is precious. Miss you and love you always!

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